Train Ride~

14/12/2018

The train was too crowded, the smell was too smothering, people’s faces were too stiff and strict. Everyone was minding their own business, either showing grumpy face expressions while scrolling down their stony phones or waiting for the trip to be over. For someone who’s realistic, this atmosphere would’ve made him/her jump out of the train and wish to die. Yet for an optimistic soul like mine, this did not matter, at all… for I had the best company with me, for I wasn’t alone in this hellish dark place. I was in a small and quiet world of my own. My arm was wrapped around this world of mine, I could hear my own heartbeats in this chaotic space. It was too strident and tough yet too pleasant and soft at the same time… I had my head on his chest, and I was transcended into a parallel universe of peace. I was the same person in another universe, but a person without any fears or boundaries, someone who was not in a train full of strangers… In the real world, he was my saviour and salvation. I couldn’t be more grateful for having him in my life, this miserable life of mine…

13th of October – Presidential Elections.

As I’m sitting on the passenger seat of the car, all I see is the mountains and trees that have been on this land for a very long time, way before humanity even existed. These humongous mountains and hills have witnessed every single step that each living thing has made. This is a trip from one city to another, for the purpose of voting for the president who will rule this holy country of ours, Tunisia, for the next five year, and who will most likely determin our future for the decades later as well. In 2011, the people have gone out to the streets and demanded for the regime of Ben Ali to finally end. To my fellow Tunisians, his corrupted political system was the reason why they lived in misery and agony. Zin Elabidin Ben Ali fleed to Saoudi Arabia and left everything behind, the people went furious and the nation turned into chaos. Strikes, protests, signs have been raised, voices have risen, arms have reached the sky to look for salvation from the almighty, whoever he was to them, feet have crashed the grounds to show their force and vigour, blood has been spilled all over the streets, people have been shot for the sake of their dear country. There was no fear nor frighten in their eyes, there were only tears of years of torture and oppression. Bodies have been tossed and filled the narrowed streets and neighbourhoods… Eight years have passed and it feels as if nothing has changed and everything has changed at the same time. New parties were created, new politicians were introduced to the citizens, and divergent presidents were elected one after the other.
The Tunisian people has gained a certain amount of political awareness, and everyone is eager to know what will happen next to their country. No matter what happens now, we should be a proud nation of the steps that we have made. A nation that occupies an area of only 163,610 square kilometres, of which 8,250 are water, but that was also the first example of a muslim arabic country to rise against dictatorship and fight for a better life and living. We, Tunisians, have introduced a whole new meaning of unity and power to other arabic countries who have gained the courage to stand up against corruption in their lands as well.
Whatever happens, we should feel proud of this milestone we made. 

#شعب_الهريسة_ديما_فوي ❤

Honey and leafs collied,

rather merged

and gave birth to

his mesmerizing eyes…

How did freud influence Surrealism?

hawajalloh

The surrealists were heavily influenced by Sigmund Freud, the Austrian founder of psychoanalysis. They were especially receptive to his distinction between the ego and the id—that is, between our primal instincts and desires (the id) and our more civilized and rational patterns of behavior (the ego). Since our primal urges and desires frequently run afoul of social expectations, Freud concluded that we repress our real desires into the unconscious part of our minds. For individuals to enjoy psychological health, he felt, they must bring these desires to the awareness of the conscious mind. Freud believed that despite the overwhelming urge to repress desires, the unconscious still reveals itself—particularly when the conscious mind relaxes its hold—in dreams, myths, odd patterns of behavior, slips of the tongue, accidents, and art. In seeking to gain access to the unconscious, the surrealists invented radical new art forms and techniques.”

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Breeze.

Summer lovers blown away by winter’s wind…

Mr. Hazel eyes~

He turned around
Facing me
Inches away
A kiss away..
Hazel eyes
Rather, honey mixed with green tea
Sweetness above all
With a smirk on his face
Mr hazel eyes will never be forgotten~

Perplexion~

Stuck in delusions ;

Death driven by a slight external power but mainly, by an internal one that calls out for screams Nightmares that turn to reality A brief moment, a single minute seems to be very easy to pass.. Unexpectedly, filled with thousands, Millions of thoughts, most of them are absurd and blurry Yet they all have one common thing: death seeking this glorious end

A victory everyone is looking to achieve.

Hyperrealism~

The wind is blowing And the sky is bleeding. i’m gazing at the moon and i bet he is too. miles away yet still in my mind. i still recall the look he had on his eyes while telling me goodbye, so gentle and so sweet….

Should I stay or should I leave?

He says he’s depressed. He says he’s not feeling well. But, aren’t we all? This is taking a long time. He’s not getting better. I don’t know what to do. I want to be there for him, I want to heal him. But, he’s not letting me.

I tried, I’m still trying. I text him everyday to wish him a good day and hope he’s doing ok. Our first meeting happened because of me. I still can’t believe it, considering the way I am. I am an anxious person, I’m an overthinker, someome who struggles with having shaky hands around people amd stressful situations. Til this day, I do not know how I was brave enough to surprise him at his work place just to meet him and try to make him feel better.

It did not work, I was happy to see him, and so was he. We went home later on and he texted me saying he wished I stayed longer. Yet, his depression was still eating him alive and I couldn’t do anything about it.

I don’t regret going all the way just to see him, it was worth it, but I couldn’t save him. Am I not enough? this makes me question everything between us. I should stay. I will stay. Although..what if he wants nothing to do with me anymore? What if he doesn’t love me anymore? What if..he doesn’t want to tell me because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings?

His hugs were so warm when we met.. His eyes were half sparkly because I was there and half numb because he was not doing great… I was reading a book at the coffee shop and I was also wandering inside my mind.. my hand was on my cheek and I was dreaming.. He looked so handsome, I would casually find myself smiling at the sight of him getting close to me..

He literally had puppy eyes when I told him I was leaving that day. He did not want me to go, he hugged me so tight and he thanked me for coming.

I don’t know what to do, I want to stay. He’s worth it, unlike the guys I met, this one is actually worth it. He’s not just some boy I like, he’s a man who deserves everything. I’m not leaving him, he will get better and I will help him duting all his hardships.

Safely wrapped~

Fatalistic times.
Craving to jump and get it over with.
The sea is calling for me.
The waves are cheering.
The rocks can no longer wait.
They just keep crawling, back and forth…
These awful empty thoughts.
Same old story…
Except that this had a better ending;
A cure, his smell was..
Safe, felt I at that moment.
My soul was right back into my almost-dead body..
Goodbye senctuary, and good riddance…